You’re having a conversation with someone, and now you begin to feel frustrated and stressed.
“Why does this happen every time I spend time with this person?”
“I felt great before I came to this lunch and/or dinner and now my mood has changed. Why?”
“Every time I spend time with this person I want to go home and cry. Why?”
Many people in our lives will help build us up and others seem to cause us stress beyond belief. It could be what they say or maybe it’s because you are taking on their emotions and making them your own.
This is what we call mirroring, where we take on that person’s emotions and begin to emulate them as our own. The other person may even be actively projecting their feelings onto us, especially when we spend time with that person. So, why is it so prevalent with some of the relationships in your life while in others, it’s not?
Much of this is how these people may trigger old feelings or experiences in us, that may be unresolved or hidden. Many times, it can be a family member or a close friend. Often it’s someone who knows your history or someone you’ve spent a lot of time with. However, there may be times when we first meet a person and experience the same energy drain almost immediately.
Many of these dynamics are considered triggers. They can include:
The attitude they take when speaking to you.
Are they talking to you?
Are they talking above you?
Are they talking down to you?
Some could be based on a childhood memory that may bring emotions to the surface that may have been hidden deep within your mind and heart.
Or it could be how you treat others coming back to face you head-on.
Whatever the cause of frustration, hurt, guilt, or emotional upheaval may be brought on by spending time with this person, how do you stop it? How do you keep their emotions from becoming your own?
First, you want to learn how to activate an energetic protective shield, so you are not so vulnerable to outside emotions.
Second, look inside and see if what they are expressing could be a reflection of something inside yourself that needs to be released.
And third, you want to ask yourself if this relationship is worth salvaging, or is it time to let go and move on? After all, you want to spend time with people that make you feel wanted and free to be who you are. But if you can learn to keep your emotions in check and put an energetic protective barrier around your heart and mind you can learn to:
Recognize when your own emotions are beginning to waver.
Invest in some emotional healing work for yourself (Chiron Mirror Sessions).
Stay within your emotional lane.
Know when it’s time to release this relationship and move on.
Here are a few ways to help you stay within your emotional lane.
Pay attention to how you feel when you are with this person. What comes up?
When you feel the transference of emotions, imagine a big STOP sign in your head. Telling you to STOP. Take a deep breath and visualize these emotions being released as you breathe out.
Close your eyes and simply listen to the words. Tell your friend or family member that you want to hear them, so you are going to close your eyes so that you can hear their words.
Notice If you find that their emotions are too much for you to handle. Tell them that you want to hear them, but with all the chatter in your head, you can’t, and plan to speak with them at another time.
Keep this in mind as well: there will be friends/family that will work to pull you into the drama they are going through. But it is not your responsibility to take on this drama as your own. Simply listen. Don’t give advice, just listen. Unless they ask for your advice you are there to listen only.
When you practice the above techniques, you will find that emotional projection and transference no longer trigger your emotions. You will be able to have healthier and happier relationships, and you’ll be able to recognize which relationships are beneficial or harmful to your psyche.
When you master this, you master emotional strength.
Here’s to healthier relationships.
Carolyn Osborn
Clean Up Your Energy, Clean Up Your Life. For People & Pets.
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P.S. Our newest program has been announced and is featured right on our website homepage or in our sessions menu: Chiron Mirror Sessions • Tandem Healing for You and Your Animal. It is designed to help you discover the deep healing that awaits you and your animal when you are guided to release unwanted behaviors and unconscious wounds and patterns of suppressed emotions and traumas that trigger dis-ease or illness if left unattended.
You can also gain knowledge about how energy medicine and intuitive messages can help us recognize and adjust to changes that are affecting us, as well as our animals with many of our programs. Even when we may not recognize it— there are messages your dogs, cats, horses and other pets wish they could tell you directly—as they seek to give you loving help. Chiron Energy Medicine offers several options as linked below:
See or learn more about our sessions and packages for people or animals here and view our equine and performance sessions or packages here.
You may request an Introductory Consultation here.