Why is it that we always put ourselves last?
For many, it may be guilt, “If I care for myself, I will look as if I’m a selfish person only thinking about myself.”
For some it’s a matter of time: “Once I get this project completed, go home and help the kids get their homework done, get dinner on the table, and do some much needed laundry, I will then take a long hot bath and pamper me.” But let’s face it. That doesn’t happen.
By the time you are done taking care of everyone else, you’re too exhausted to even think about doing something for yourself. So, how can you learn to pamper yourself if you are dealing with time constraints and guilt?
If it’s time that you are dealing with, here are a few tips that may help:
Schedule your time better. For example, if it’s not on your schedule it doesn’t get done. You’ll be more honest with yourself, and be less likely to deplete your energy by judging yourself harshly. The more you work to implement a calendared item for everything you do the more you will get done.
If you find you are always running behind, it could mean you’ve tried to cram too much into one day. Spread it out and give yourself at least a 30-minute buffer before and after any scheduled event.
Start scheduling no less than 30 minutes for yourself each day. Whether this is to read a book, meditate, write, take a bath, or go for a walk, allow this time to be just for you. But the key here is to never overwrite this time with something else. And your energy will become more balanced.
If you are having guilt issues here are a few tips that may help:
Put this on your wall, mirror, or anywhere you see it every day. “I’m no good to anyone else unless I make time for myself to refuel and fill up my emotional bucket.” Remember the airplane analogy, you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first to help those around you. This is the same thing in life. You must fill up your emotional bucket and get time for yourself or you negate the whole point of helping others.
If you have a family that you do everything for, start showing them how to do these things on their own. Then you go out with some friends for coffee or lunch. Go to the park to read a book or go for a walk. By getting out of the house you actively train your family to deal with these things on their own, giving you more time for yourself. These may seem like simple things to do, but if you don’t start here, you will just come up with more excuses to put yourself on the back burner again and again.
Believe it or not, the more time you spend on yourself, the more time you will gain to do more in the day. As you fill your bucket this gives you more energy allowing you to get more done.
Granted, these suggestions only work when you put the excuses aside and put yourself first. Remember, you are no good to anyone when you are burnt out and exhausted. Fill your bucket first and watch how everything else simply falls into place.
Here’s to more me time.
Carolyn Osborn
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